Thursday, 30 January 2014

18 days later.

     So, here we are, at 18 days later. I must admit, when I first left my job, the first feeling was euphoria. "That impossible collection of spreadsheets that I was looking at trying to finish this week." Gone. "That person I don't really like talking to." Gone as well. Just like that. Yes, I must admit, for a few hours, it felt great. 
     That evening, though, I was on the phone with couple of now ex-colleagues and one of them, who had gone through the same process, warned me: "You'll feel great now but the crash will come on sooner or later." Was he ever right.
     So, nearly three weeks later, having almost achieved some closure, cleaned out my office, and having filled out a lot of paperwork, I am starting to stare down the blankest of blank voids ahead of me. Yes, I am totally free. Yoga and cross country skiing and whatever else every day. At some point down the line, however, I am realizing that I need to find some way to replace my income. My old lifestyle, while almost continuously stressful, punctuated by moments of great promise, has totally evaporated, likely never to return.  
     People have lots of different, but fairly consistent, advice. "Take a holiday. You are going to finally take a holiday, right?" Apart from 1 to 2 weeks off, I was hardly taking any vacation at all during my last three years of work. "Enjoy this time; don't do anything rash, don't get back into the workforce right away." I realize that this is the truth but it's hard not to be gripped by the insane desire to find a job immediately. 
     On a whim, I asked for one in a bookstore, today. "Try again later in the fall," was the answer.